Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days Of Summer
by MR. CR0CKER
Summary: Timmy tries to keep his summer from being ruined by Vicky, Crocker, and HappyPeppy Gary and Betty by making a wish he will soon regret. Chapter two is up!
1. The Great Awakening

Disclaimer: The basic plot for this story is my idea, however The Fairly OddParents and all characters involved belong to Butch Hartman.

Chapter One-- "The Great Awakening"

It was the last day of school in Dimmsdale. Summer was soon only an hour away from its official beginning--when the children sighing and half-asleep in the classrooms would suddenly come to life and burst from the school building to eight weeks of freedom the moment the final bell sounded.

In classroom 44, Mr. Crocker was droning on monotonously about what started out as a simple math problem. Lately it had become nothing more than a mess of fairy-related doodles scribbled from one end of the chalkboard to the other. Timmy rolled his eyes and sighed, glancing up at the clock on the wall. Only five minutes had passed. He still had another agonizing 55 minutes in which he was forced to listen to his crazy teacher's nonsense.

"Am I boring you, Mr. Turner?" Mr. Crocker's harsh tone suddenly jolted Timmy back to the present.

"Um...yes?" Timmy squeaked with a nervous grin.

"Good!" Crocker barked with a malicious smirk, "That means the agonizingly slow drag of time is practically killing you! I do so love this job!"

With a self-satisfied snicker, Crocker returned to his desk. His lecture over, he fully intended to pass the final moments of the school day watching his helpless students stare at the clock and squirm and fidget restlessly.

"It's only 2:15?" Timmy whined, grinding his buck teeth in anticipation of the arrival of three o'clock.

"It's 2:15 already?" Chester grinned, "Awesome! Only 45 minutes 'til freedom!"

"What do you mean by '2:15 already'?" Timmy asked incredulously, "If this day drags any slower, we'll be old men before school lets out!"

"It's not dragging for me," Chester smirked, "Trust me, if you sleep through most of class, the day flies."

"I wish you would have told me that this morning," Timmy muttered, returning his attention to the clock.

At last, the bell rang and, like a great awakening, the children came to life and jumped to their feet, ready to stampede out of the building and never look back for eight weeks.

"Not so fast," Crocker sneered, blocking the door, "Don't think for a second that you're going to run out that door and immediately engage in outdoor merriment. No one gets out of my class without a ridiculously long, nearly impossible homework assignment! This year, instead of spending the summer writing a 500-page book report, I want all of you to write a 5,000-page essay and I want you to title it 'Things I Would Have Liked To Do This Summer, But Couldn't Do Because I Was Too Busy Writing An Essay'."

The class erupted in protest, bemoaning their inevitable fate--an un-fun summer. Storming out into the hall, Timmy was furious.

"I am so sick of Crocker wrecking my summer with his stupid homework assignments!" he growled at his pink backpack and green lunchbox, "Does that man live to make me miserable?"

"Telegram for Timmy Turner," a random postal worker walked up to Timmy and handed him an envelope. It was a computer-designed postcard with a photo of Crocker reclining in a hammock in his backyard. The text across the top of the photo read "Wish you were here!". Turning it over, on the back, Timmy found a message scribbled in Crocker's crazy handwriting: "By the way, since I already know your essay is bound to fail, I'm giving you your F in advance!"

"That's a yes," Cosmo said in answer to Timmy's question.

"Another telegram for Timmy Turner," the postal worker appeared again and handed Timmy a second envelope. Surprise of surprises, Timmy opened it and pulled out one of Crocker's infamous failing grades.

"All right, that does it!" Timmy yelled, shredding the postcard and the F, "I'm sick of my summer being destroyed by all the sadistic people in my life--namely Crocker and Vicky! I'm going to make this summer as miserable for them as they have made my past summers for me. Cosmo, Wanda, I wish Vicky and Crocker were fired and--just so I cover all my summer-ruining bases--I wish Happy-Peppy Gary and Betty would take an all-summer-long vacation to, uh...the Bahamas!"

"But Timmy, what good is that going to do?" Wanda asked, "Particularly in Crocker's case. He doesn't work during the summer anyway."

"Yeah, but if he's out of pay and benefits, that forces him to spend the summer looking for another job," Timmy pointed out, "Which, as a result, will keep him out of my hair."

Wanda could find no reason to argue with Timmy's logic, so she and Cosmo waved their wands and granted his wish.

"Denzel!" Crocker's mother called from the back patio of his house, "Telephone!"

Grumbling about having his relaxation time interrupted, Crocker stomped into the house and picked up the phone. He discovered his boss, Principal Waxelplax, was on the other end.

"Mr. Crocker," she began, not sounding too regretful at all as she continued, "I regret to inform you that the school is having some cutbacks."

"You're firing me?" Crocker asked, suddenly turning paler than he usually was.

"Don't think of it as being fired," Waxelplax twittered, "Think of it as being...laid off."

"What's the difference!" the frantic teacher demanded.

"Have a nice summer!" Waxelplax sang as she hung up the phone.

Meanwhile, at Vicky's house, the phone rang as well. The evil babysitter answered and was a bit surprised to hear Mr. Turner's voice on the other end.

"Vicky," he stated simply, "I regret to inform you that you're being fired."

"Fired?" Vicky repeated incredulously, "For what?"

"I don't know," Mr. Turner replied, sounding confused himself, "I just got this irresistible impulse to call you up and fire you. We will no longer be requiring your services."

"But you can't fire me!" Vicky protested, "Who's going to watch the twerp--I mean, Timmy?"

"Have a nice summer, Vicky!" Mr. Turner sang out, hanging up the line.

"Oh, man, this is sweet!" Timmy gloated, knowing Cosmo and Wanda's magic had taken effect, "This is going to be the greatest summer vacation ever!"

Timmy went home and wasn't surprised when his parents told him that his "favorite" babysitter had been fired for inexplicable reasons. However, he was a little shocked when his parents revealed their backup plan was to send him to Flappy Bob's Camp Learn-A-Torium.

"Well, so much for having a fun summer, Timmy," Cosmo whined, "You thought you covered all your bases and you still struck out. By the way everything just blew up in your face, I would think you've been sitting under Crocker's teaching for too long."

"Oh, I'm not too worried about it," Timmy smirked.

"Why?" Cosmo and Wanda asked in unison, finding his claim hard to believe as they knew how much Timmy hated Flappy Bob's.

"Because you sent Gary and Betty on vacation, remember?" the buck-toothed boy reminded them, "So I won't have to put up with the happy-peppy stuff. Camp Learn-A-Torium can't be all that bad anymore with those two gone."


	2. The Rude Awakening

Disclaimer: The basic plot for this story is my idea, however The Fairly OddParents and all characters involved belong to Butch Hartman.

Chapter Two-- "The Rude Awakening"

Timmy arrived at Flappy Bob's Camp Learn-A-Torium to find the place exactly as he expected it to be--without a trace of Gary and Betty. Heaving a sigh of relief, he looked down at Cosmo and Wanda--disguised as goldfish in the fishbowl in his hands--and gave them a triumphant I-told-you-so smirk.

"See? Nothing to worry about," he told them confidently, "With Gary and Betty out of the picture, I can do anything I want without having to worry about helmets, kneepads, or any of that other useless safety junk and--best of all--I don't have to listen to their stupid happy-peppy song."

At that moment, as if on cue, two silhouettes appeared in the doorway behind him. After a minute or two, both figures jumped into the light to reveal themselves as...

"I'm happy-peppy Vicky!"

"I'm happy-peppy Denzel!"

"We're happy-peppy, happy-peppy, happy-peppy-hap!"

"Ask happy-peppy Vicky," Mr. Crocker sang out.

"Those goldfish look kind of icky!" Vicky concluded.

"So we will be confiscating them whether you like it or not--yay!"

Timmy's face twitched in a disturbed manner as he beheld both his teacher and his babysitter dressed in white shorts, pink sweater vests, graduation caps, and pink and white sneakers. Both were grinning, but not in the happy-peppy way Gary and Betty did. They were grinning evilly. Of course, Mr. Crocker's evil grin had an undertone of insanity. Timmy was so shocked, he couldn't bring himself to say or do anything right away as Vicky snatched his fishbowl from him.

"Wait! You can't just take my goldfish away from me!" the buck-toothed boy protested at last, "They're my pets--and they're not icky!"

"Oh, but we can," Vicky corrected him, "See, we're in charge of your health and safety as long as you're here and I say we should flush these fish before they spread some horrible disease!"

"Flush them!" Crocker spoke up, snatching the bowl from Vicky, "I don't _think_ so! These aren't just any goldfish. These are...FAIRY GOLDFISH!--I mean...FAIRY GODFISH!--I mean...FAIRY GODPARENTS!"

"Right," Vicky scoffed, taking the fishbowl away from Crocker again, "And I'm Cinderella's fairy godmother."

"Are you really!" Crocker asked, not exactly picking up on her sarcasm as he whips out his infamous butterfly net and quickly brings it down over Vicky's head.

"No!" Vicky snapped, taking the butterfly net and breaking it in two over her knee.

"Yes, she is!" Timmy spoke up in desperation, "She's a fairy godmother! Capture her--and give me back my goldfish!"

"I don't think so, twerp," Vicky snickered maliciously, "These fish are happy-peppy property now."

With that, Vicky slapped a safety suit on Timmy, then she and Crocker trotted off to take Cosmo and Wanda to the room were confiscated properties were kept until further notice. When the two notorious characters that seemed to be every Dimmsdale child's nightmare were out of Timmy's earshot, Crocker stirred up the goldfish argument again.

"Give me those FAIRIES!" Crocker demanded, trying to yank the fishbowl out of Vicky's hands, "I need to use them to fulfill my wildest dreams!"

"And I need to use them for my sadistic amusement," Vicky growled, yanking right back, "I'm going to flush them!"

In the fishbowl, Cosmo and Wanda felt as though they were in an earthquake setting as the water sloshed around and their castle tipped over due to Crocker and Vicky jerking in opposite directions.

"All right, compromise," Crocker panted, unable to get the fishbowl from Vicky, "You take one and flush it and I'll use the other one for my own personal gain."

"Sounds fair," Vicky shrugged, "I'll flush the fat pink-eyed one."

Wanda growled, but resisted the urge to yell and thus reveal that she could speak.

"No!" Crocker snarled, once again the cause of yet another argument, "_I_ want the pink-eyed one. You take the green-eyed one."

"Question there, Poindorkster," Vicky interrupted, "What exactly do you stand to gain from these gross little fish?"

"Why, everything my nonexistent heart desires!" Crocker cried excitedly, "I told you--they're...FAIRY GODPARENTS!"

"Good grief," the evil red-head rolled her rose-colored eyes, "You're nuttier than crunchy peanut butter, you know that?"

"Ooh, that's one I've never heard before," Crocker remarked, apparently impressed by her insult directed at his questionable sanity, "I'll have to write that one down."

"Whatever," Vicky grumbled, "All right, you can have the fat pink-eyed one. Happy?"

"Excessively," Crocker grinned madly.

Meanwhile, Timmy was wandering around the Learn-A-Torium in his bulky safety suit, trying to find Cosmo and Wanda. He paused in his searching as he rounded a corner and heard someone crying. Glancing into the Happy-Peppy Ball Pit, he saw Tootie, Vicky's little sister, locked in a small square cage.

"Tootie?" he asked, waddling over to her, "What are _you_ doing here?"

"Timmy?" Tootie gasped, her tear-stained face lighting up at the sight of the subject of her obsessive crush, "Oh, Timmy! I was crying because I was unbearably sad, but now--since you showed up--I'm unbearably happy!"

"Quiet!" Timmy hissed, "I can get you out of there, but you have to keep it down. Vicky and Crocker took my pet goldfish and I'm going to need some help getting them back. You in?"

"Maybe," Tootie replied coyly, "For a price."

"All right, one kiss," Timmy sighed rolling his eyes as he muttered, "Boy, I must be desperate!"

Taking a deep breath, he leaned down and was about to give Tootie a half-hearted kiss on the cheek when Vicky and Crocker appeared on the scene again.

"Well, well, well," Vicky sneered, "Isn't this sweet? Prince Charming is coming to rescue his lady fair, but they're _not_ going to live happily ever after!"

Before Timmy could sprint away, Crocker grabbed him by the neck while Vicky picked up Tootie's cage and shook it violently, just to be cruel.

"May I borrow your Fun Box?" Crocker asked, speaking of the small cage Tootie was imprisoned in.

"I'd be insulted if you didn't," Vicky grinned, pulling Tootie out of the "Fun Box" and dropping it at Crocker's feet.

Crocker lost no time stuffing Timmy in the small cage, then, with the creepiest, evilly insane grin on his face he...burst into song.

"Fun Box, oh Fun Box," he sang gleefully, "Small and square and dark. Fun Box, oh Fun Box, check out these cool fun locks--yay!"

With that he dumped a pile of chains on the cage and fastened them around it with a large assortment of padlocks. He then proceeded to swallow the key, but he paused and reconsidered the idea.

"I think I'll just connect it to my key ring instead," he muttered, clipping the key on a ring holding several other keys connected to his belt, "Have fun, Turner."

"Let me out of here!" Timmy shrieked in his high-pitched nasal voice, "This is unconstitutional!"

"You don't even know what unconstitutional means," Crocker paused to frown at Timmy.

"Oh...right," Timmy muttered, then resumed yelling, "Well, you'll pay for this! I'll get out of here...somehow."


End file.
